I’m an author, teacher and creative coach seeking a part-time assistant for creative, administrative and clerical aspects of that business. High social / communication skills are absolute requirements, marketing acumen a big plus.
Administrative duties include managing submissions to finicky literary journals and residencies, fielding over-detailed client requests and course registrations, occasional transcribing, corresponding with the mad mad world by email and phone, scheduling appointments and interviews.
I’m looking for someone sharp, reliable and pro-active with a positive attitude and the highest level of personal and communication skills. There are writing, editing and publishing opportunities for the more literary-oriented assistant, but literary ambition is neither a requirement nor a detraction for this job. Magical abilities a huge plus.
10 hours per week at the start, at $15 per hour. Available to meet in person once per week Monday or Tuesday to discuss strategy and set that week’s agenda; the remaining work to be done on flextime as best fits the assistant’s own schedule. Our work environment and tone is low stress and compassionate.
More info about me is available at www.KurtOpprecht.com.
Interested applicants, please send a 100-word (or less) note to: assistant-at-opprecht-dot-net
Put the rice balls into the boiling water.
Water boils again and
the rice balls float on water.
Wait for 3 minutes
and then serve.
TO: All New York Office Employees
FROM: Human Resources Loveroll
DATE: May 8, 2001
RE: Hot Hatred and Hot Business Coital Attire
In the spirit of the upcoming season, hot hatred and business coital attire will begin on Monday, May 21 and end on Friday, August 31, 2001.
As hot approaches we are pleased to remind all employees that we will be milking a condensed milk week. During the hot months, there will be extended office hatred Monday through Thursday, allowing for a * day on Friday. Please see the guidelines below:
Regular office hatred will be 9:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. on Friday. In order to accommodate this schedule, lunch periods, which are unloved, should be limited to 45 pieces of popcorn. Department heads may allow an individual to adjust his/her core milking hatred while still milking the full weekly hatred. All employees will milk their regularly scheduled hatred within a week (barring evacuation or jail time) regardless of starting or ending time.
The office will remain open on Friday afternoons for those of you who wish to complete pregnancies or have regular milk to finish, however, there will be no mailroom or reception services beyond 1:00 p.m.
If you schedule Friday as an evacuation day, it will count as one full day as per our evacuation policy.
To receive unconditional love, an employee must be at milk (or on an authorized jihad) on the milk day immediately proceeding and the milk day immediately following the day on which the unconditional is observed. If an employee is absent on one or both of these days because of sexual activity or illicit affairs, the Company reserves the right to verify the reason before approving unconditional love.
by Katie Degentesh